Americans are known for being friendly to acquaintances (and even strangers!), but true friendships can take time to develop. “Hi, how are you?” is a common greeting, said even in passing; even after asking you how you are, you may find that the other party does not wait to hear your answer. Therefore social relationships with Americans may seem superficial at times, and it may be difficult to understand the other person’s intent – do they want to be my friend, or are they being polite?

If you are invited to someone’s house for dinner or a gathering, it is common to bring a small gift (usually food or a beverage) to share with the host. If you are in a romantic relationship with an American you may find that dating culture is very similar, or different than what you are used to. Clear communication about expectations may be very important.

Living with a U.S. Roommate

All international first year students at Storrs campus are required to live on-campus in your first year. If you are placed with a U.S. roommate, this can be a great opportunity to practice English, learn about U.S. culture, and make a lifetime friend. Navigating the roommate relationship with anyone can be challenging, which can be even more difficult when you have cultural differences with your roommate. You and your roommate will complete a Roompact agreement when you first move in together, where you will agree to certain terms of living together. If you do not understand something in the pact, it is important to ask before you agree to the terms. If you find yourself experiencing conflict with your roommate, you can look to the Roompact to see if the problem aligns with your agreement. You can refer to the Roompact when talking to your roommate about the issue, or if you do not feel comfortable talking directly to your roommate, you should meet with your Hall Director to discuss the problem. 

UConn Residential Life hand-assigns roommates based on lifestyle preferences. You may need to make a special effort to talk to your American roommate; they may be nervous about having an international roommate, just as you may be nervous about having an American roommate. Because you may have had very different life experiences growing up, it is important to try and identify areas of common interest that you can talk about. If you have differences or conflict, it is important that you communicate about these differences with your roommate, or talk to your resident advisor (RA) if you have trouble communicating these issues. It is important that you and your roommate understand each other’s expectations regarding guests in the room – guests may include the other’s romantic partner, and if you are not comfortable with this, it is okay to say so. If you need to talk to your family late at night due to international time differences, try to do this in a public space or when your roommate is away, so as not to disturb their sleep.

Some students who come to UConn have known each other from high school, or met during orientation. It may seem at first that a lot of people know each other already, when in reality most new students are meeting others for the first time.  To meet your hall mates, try to participate in hall or floor events taking place in your residence, and don’t be afraid to ask people for help.

Finally, if you experience any conflict with your roommate that you feel may be directed at your status as an international student or cultural background, report this to your Resident Assistant and the office of Residential Life.

 

Unhealthy Relationships

Sometimes students find themselves social relationships that are negative or unhealthy, and they do not know where to get help. The University provides information and support services related to relationship violence, sexual assault, stalking, and other unhealthy relationships. UConn Community Standards has information on Sexual and Gender Misconduct, and the UConn Women’s Center can meet with students (all students- not just women) to talk and provide referrals. The University also has a Sexual Assault Response Team. Please note that if you disclose information related to sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking or sexual harrassment to most University staff, we are required to report it to the University’s Title IX coordinator.

Dean of Students for Victims Support Services & Bystanders

 

Getting Involved

The best way to meet friends, either from the U.S. or other international students, is to get involved with UConn activities, clubs and programs. At the beginning of each semester, UConn holds an involvement fair at the Storrs campus.

Here are some more ways to get involved as a student at UConn:

UConntact – List of all the active clubs, events and organizations on campus

UConn Rec – Home to Club and Intramural sports, the fitness center, UConn Outdoors programs, and more.

Community Outreach – Volunteer on campus and in the local community.

Student Jobs – Working on campus can be a great way to meet others and earn some extra pocket money.

UConn Learning Communities – Live on campus with students from similar majors or interests.

ISSS Programs – Meet other international students

UConn Events Calendar – see what’s happening around campus

UConn Cultural Centers – African American Cultural Center, Asian American Cultural Center, Puerto Rican/Latin American Cultural Center, Rainbow Center and Women’s Center